I loaf you so much

So, my dusty ass is sitting here enjoying a beautiful Monday evening, having a wine free night, reflecting over the Sandton sky line and NOT WRITING MY GOSH DARN POST!!!

Ok, dumb dumb is back with the program and planning on posting shit* on time. What shit shall I be posting this week? CIABATTA.

Ok, let’s make this second bread miracle. I think I might be changing my mind on bread guys, it might not be the devil I’ve made it out to be. My bad, my bad.

*the bread isn’t shit, it’s fucking dope.

Disclaimer, this is a cheat version of ciabatta, I’ll make it the traditional way next time and see if there is any difference.

Disclaimer 2: if you have a stand mixer, for the love of God, please use it. My arm was screaming at me for not having one.

The pots

• 500g bread flour, plus extra for dusting
• 10g yeast
• 10g salt
• 40ml and 2tbsp olive oil
• 400ml lukewarm water

In the pots

• Oil a large mixing bowl with two tablespoons of olive oil
• Place flour in a mixing bowl and make a well in the middle. Pour salt and yeast on opposite sides of the bowl.
• Pour oil and three quarters of the water into the well. Mix the dough (on slow preferably with a dough hook) until flour and water is combined, then gradually mix the remaining water into the dough and continue to mix (on medium speed for 8-10 minutes) for 15-20 minutes (by hand) until the dough comes from the sides.
• The dough will be wet, do not add more flour.
• Turn the dough into oiled bowl and cover with a kitchen towel for 1-2 hour or until the dough has at least doubled in size.
• Line two baking sheets with baking paper,
• Dust a heavy hand on a work surface. Gently tip dough onto the counter. The dough will seem flat and wet. With wet fingers gently shape into a square and cut the dough into four equal pieces.
• Gently pull and each quarter into a 20cm log and place on baking trays. Cover with a towel and allow to rest for 10 minutes.
• Preheat oven to 220 degrees Celsius.
• Once rested, bake for 25-30 minutes or until golden brown and the loaf has a hollow sound.
• Allow to cool and enjoy.

What happened with the pots

I was so pleased with myself guys. To remind you, I feared making bread because it never came out right and feared eating bread because I’d bloat like the Michelin man. Guys, I might be a bread making convert, not only was this super easy to make but it also agreed with my system. I think homemade bread is ok with me. I don’t know what disagrees with me with shop bought bread but I will get to the bottom of it.

This was easy to make and I really enjoyed the smell of bread floating around the house. My dad came around to my house just as the bread began baking, lucky bugger got the scent without the work. Sent him off with two of the loaves, I asked him to give a review, but knowing that guy he will just say “they were nice” (ROLLLLLS EYES). What an emotive human.

Told my best friend to pull up and “get this bread” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, so glad I could finally use that line without being lame.

Ok, but seriously guys. This dough is wet. Don’t worry, you didn’t fuck up, these Italians just make bread funny but thank goodness for their funny methods or else we would live in a world void of ciabatta.

The one downside, apart from the stand mixer business, is that it lost a lot of it’s crunch the next day. I think it was on account of the weather, mad moisture in the air and a below par container messing up my shit.

Ok, so earlier I said that this is cheat ciabatta. So when you make ciabatta, you are supposed to make a mixture called Biga, what this is does is allow the yeast to ferment and do its fun things for 12 hours before being used to make the bread. I don’t want to get into too much detail about it because I’d be talking out my ass but I will make it this way next week and let you know. If I can get my hands on someone’s hand mixer I will use that and let you know if it’s important. Yes, I’m mentioning this for a reason, basically everyone swears you can’t make ciabatta without a mixer, I will let you know if this is a fact or fable. Well…. If I can get a mixer.

Anyone willing to skyf mixer daar so?